The Sand Filled with Tears
by Jesse's dark heart
Summary: We were friends, then he chaged. He snapped and his bloodlust over took him. I haven't seen him in years. Ever since he tried to kill me I became lost. Now hes here, standing in front of me, and he can't even remember my name. OC/Gaara pairing !Review please!
1. Chapter 1: Our memories intertwine

**THIS FANFICTION HAD BEEN TAKEN DOWN FOR REVISION. **

**IF YOU WERE UP TO DATE WITH MY NEWEST CHAPTERS BEFORE IT WAS TAKEN DOWN THE WARNING IS THAT THERE ARE A FEW CHANGES.**

**ALSO I WILL BE UPDATING CHAPTERS AS SOON AS I FIND THAT I AM SATISFIED WITH THEIR CHANGES.**

**I AM TRULY SORRY FOR THE INCONVINACE.**

_To those who are bored and wish to read something new while you wait for the next chapter:_

_Check out my new story!_

_**A Mind Unbound By Jesses Dark Heart (A Gaara/Oc Not so Fairy Tale Love Story)**_

Disclaimer: This is purely fan made. I do not own any characters of Naruto (though it certainly would be kick ass if I did) the only rights I hold are of my OC that's it. The plot is mine too.

Saying it only Once: I know some fans of Naruto hate OC pairings so just gunna say this once -If you disagree with OC pairings then don't read! That is all.-

Extras: I really hope you enjoy the story because really Gaara is my all time favorite character. Ever. =) I also was a little bummed that he didn't get his own love story so I decided to create one for him! :D

Plz rate and review!

ENJOY!

* * *

Chapter 1:

Our memories intertwine 

There is nothing to this darkness. It is so hollow and the wounds are too fresh to fade. Why can't I breathe freely without the images slinking through my mind and the voices leaking past my ears? The loneliness. The sorrow. Make it stop. Make is stop. MAKE IT STOP!

Its hurts, like scars burning purely out of the vivid memories that haunt every nightmare.

Like faces being ripped from existence and never thought of again.

"You're not stable." They'd say, "You're a weapon."

"You're a MONSTER."

My eyes widen as a beat filters within me. Time stops for but a moment, yet to me it is like an eternity of chaotic torture that spiraled within a second of tainted words. A monster? Is that what you all think? That I am but a monster with no soul?

"I-

I…" A pain so intense starts to split apart my psyche, white hot pain globing up my vision with black dots and red flashes. Stumbling backwards I grab my head, trying to desperately to keep it together. If I let go, it feels as if it will crack into many pieces and burst everywhere. It's so painful. It feels as if I am dying, like each of my organs are being put to sleep, one by one. Clutching the remnants of my soul together I let loose a blood curdling shriek that rips from my throat with raw power. It pierces the air and fills up the empty spaces of the field where I stand cornered. The sound of my voice roars like claps of thunder and hurls the Lightning Daimyō backwards, bodies' bones crack and slam against each other. The sounds of bones breaking so loud, it nearly rivals my shrieks. The voices in my head grow louder and louder, it's like millions of people screeching through clogged throats and tumbling tears. Yet, one out of all of them, somehow louder then all the rest lets their harsh laughter echo in the catacombs of my mind.

"They-" The voice says.

"They" I repeat, my voice horse from my throat ripped to shreds by my screaming.

"MUST DIE!" We chant in unison, our voices intertwined. Like a law suddenly being put in placed. All I remember after that is the blood, all the blood and marrow of bones. I remember my eyes turning yellow and bringing my blood stained fingers to my lips and tasting it. I smiled the most gruesome, bloodthirsty smile. We slingshot forward-then the darkness inside fully engulfs me.

All I was left with was the tattered cries of men and women being torn to itty bitty pieces. Every part of me that is trapped in the dark bellowed out in laughter, but the little fragment that was still me, sat in the corner of my mind and cried.

* * *

My eyes snap open, the sun a forgiving medicine for the disease that plagues me in my sleep. It has almost been half a year since that all happened-since I let Futatsu out. Sometimes I call her Chi, its short for chimei-tekina hebi which means deadly serpent. The perfect name for her. She is full of venom, her heart as cold and hard as a crystallized stone. It's hard to get through a night without listening to the whispers she lets drift from her lips. Her words are toxic sometimes I wonder if they are poisoning my insides. Boiling my soul to black gush, as thick as ink and as slick as oil.

I pick a piece of tall grass and twirl it around my thumb, then proceed to stick it into my mouth. The clouds are thick and fluffy in the sky; sometimes I wish…that I could be as free as the clouds. No matter how hard you try to catch them, they are always too far above to be brought down. That's not like me though… I'm more like the dirt. Being trampled on by random feet and never thought about, not even once. Am I really an abomination? Does my life really mean nothing? Then why was I born? Why am I here? What could possibly tie me to this earth?

I hold up my hand to the sun and study the designs on my skin. I know the tiny heart scar on the tip of my middle finger well. I remember HIM making it when I was only eight years old. Somewhere inside I ached, he had said if even I remained as hopeless and lonely like I was at least I could carry a bit of his love with me forever. Then there are the black curls that twist around my arm with a spidery effect, they actually all connect to the base of my spine. The designs travel up my backbone, outlining the bones then wrapping around to the front of my stomach. Some spiked curves have started to appear on my thighs and the ones on my arms have only just appeared two years ago. I figure that it's because of Chi inside me. The more a snake ages, the more the designs on their bodies start to become more vivid and detailed. Chi always seems to rise closer and closer to the surface each passing year. Sometimes it worries me to think she is just a thin layer from injecting herself into my psyche. If such a fate were to befall me…I wonder if anyone would even think to care.

No. A person would first have to care about me before caring about Chi corrupting me. Sighing I close my eyes and try to pretend I am in nothing but a dream. Could it be so wrong to wish that life was a little more accepting?

There is a rustling in the brush nearby, my ears twitch at the sound. I never even once considered how far I have traveled from the land of lightning. Quickly removing the Hidden Cloud Village head band from my forearm I retie it around my upper thigh so that it remains concealed under my pleated skirt. That should keep anyone from really questioning me, without an enemy band they'll be forced to assume that I am from their village. Even if they haven't ever seen my face before.

Being a rouge ninja is more or less a crime, usually any ninja who decides to leave their village and roam free have typically committed some sort of sin and depart as a way to never be caught and prosecuted for it. Any ninja who is considered rouge will be captured and returned to their village so their Daimyō can punish as they see fit. Well…that is if the rouges name isn't in the Bingo Book. If the rouges name is given out as a high alert for any massacre that was committed by their hands, heh-well their life is over. As for me? Who knows? If the Village hidden in the Clouds actually had the back bone to put out my name for our allies then I know my fate. If not, its still a lose if I get caught. If another Village got a hold of me and decided to return me to that hell hole of a scum drain then I'd be executed without trail. My offense would simply be the crime of existing. Of leaving a stain on the blanket of humanity. What a precious misconception.

Deciding to take the more cautious approach, I climb up the nearest tree and wait. It's only been a few seconds since the nearby rustling. It'll only take a few more seconds to decide if I want to interact with the person who appears before me.

Somewhere inside me though, I knew that it wouldn't really matter who walked out of the brush.

Just to have a few mere moments of human contact, to hear someone else's voice that isn't my own. To listen to someone else's opinion other than Chi's… Could heaven really be this close to my grasp?


	2. Chapter 2: The Boy Known as Gaara

Chapter 2:

The Boy Known as Gaara

The world around me is hushed into silence, vaguely I wonder if I have gone deaf. Even if I did, I doubt I would have cared in that moment. I feel my heart beat; it's in my ears, in my fingertips and toes. The excitement is like a shot of raw adrenaline to my veins.

Just let me see your face- let me know there is someone else there. I just want to hear another's voice. For once-once without disgust. Once without fear. Just once-only once.

Another rustle drags its sound across my ears, another falter for my poor heart beat.

The hair catches my eyes first. That familiar auburn hair that is extremely close to a fiery red when it shines in the sunlight. Though he is taller than I, he is still incredibly short to most males, yet it is obvious that he has grown strong. His lean muscled body is stiff but relaxed in his full-length black trousers, and long-sleeved crimson coat with flaring hemlines on the front and the back. A grey holster vest held in place by a single strap is tightened on his left shoulder and two buckled belts are attached to his gourd keeping it in place with another pair of casually worn belts around his waist. Most of these clothes are unfamiliar to me, but that gourd…I could recognize it from anywhere.

I find I can't move-it's almost as if the world has been paused. I don't feel myself breathing anymore. Nor do I hear the moaning of the wind or the delicate chirping of the birds. It all just ceased to exist. The scar on my middle finger tip starts to tingle with recognition, "I remember you." It says, mimicking the whispers of my heart. "I remember when your face was so small and your smiles were inevitable. I remember-I remember…"

* * *

My hood hides my face as I stand in the crowd awaiting the Kazekage and his children. The Raikage and the Kazekage have decided to ally our nations; it was quite a sudden shock to everyone since we have been in war for so very long. They had both agreed that it made little to no sense letting valued ninja die under a pointless war that barely had a reward at the end either way. Many people had gathered near the gates to see the famed Sand Siblings and their esteemed father, I was one of them. It was to my knowledge that there was a young boy among them who was my age. I wanted to see him for myself; people whispered that there was something off about him. That he was feared among his village. At his age? How could that be? I wanted to know, I ached to know.

Keeping my head low I make sure to keep the shadows over my face. I can't have anyone know who I am, or that would cause a scene. I wouldn't get to be part of the crowd anymore, I'd be excluded. With my tan robes covering the marks on my skin and my face hidden by shadows, not one will think to look at me twice. Especially since the crowd is in a joyful uproar. I feel at peace in this screaming group of people. They are so elated that it's infecting me vigorously. Each nerve on my body is tensed and leaping with excitement.

The gates slowly open and the village shushes instantly. Everything lies dead still and the spacious void is suffocating in my anticipation. I remember this type of stillness, it's like the air has suddenly become a weight on your back. No one dares to move or breathe. This type of atmosphere is familiar to me, but instead of fear its eagerness. Like a sweet candy in my mouth, that has yet to make an unpleasant aftertaste. Without thinking I push forward in the crowd, trying too hard to get a better view. With so many adults in the way I could see but a crack of the rock path the Sand Siblings were going to stride down, and that would certainly not do. I wanted to see everything from the perfect point. That is where everything fell to pieces.

The hood of my robes is yanked off my head and my white ash hair falls out for everyone to see. "It's Hebi!" Someone nearby had screamed. Gasps from the crowd arouse and they hurried away from me. I was the only one standing in a gaping hole of the throng of people. This makes me stop and hang my head, clutching my fists. Why do they call me that? Why do they call me a snake? Biting my lip I raise my head and the citizens back up a few more steps, their terror intoxicating. I wanted to have a normal day but obviously that is not possible. Sighing I unclench my fist and continue my way to the front of the mass, if they willingly let me past then I have nothing to complain about I guess.

As I get to the front the shrieks of thrill are back at the top of each pair of lungs. It doesn't affect me like it did though; standing alone in a parted sea isn't a swim of delight. So I stand tall, my infectious desire to belong replaced by focus. I need to watch carefully, I need to see them.

I didn't know why I was so driven that day. Maybe it was because I had a chance to find someone my age that wasn't yet corrupted by the masses judgment of me. Maybe it was because I heard there was someone who was an outcast just like me. All I knew was that I NEEDED to be there to see. I needed to see the Kazekage and his children. It's all I could think about. My determination was unknown but was the strongest I've ever felt.

The Kazekage finally appears in his Kage robes and funny hat, he is greeted with calls of joy, and they cheer for the man who had finished slaughtering half our ninja. I smirk, people are interesting creatures. Our Raikage takes his hand and gives it a firm shake, resulting in another burst from the population surrounding them; Raikage leads him along the path and disappears into a building. Not a beat after that do the Sand Siblings appear with five ninja escorting them.

There are three of them, a girl and two boys. The girl seems to be the oldest; her hair is blonde and is put up in four puffy ponytails. Her eyes are big and green, but the smile she has on her face doesn't compliment them at all. It's a spoiled smile, like a rotten egg sitting so gracefully on the finest serving dishes. The next one is the second child, he is taller then the girl by far though he is younger. He had spiky brown hair feathered around his tanned face. His eyes are dark black with a point at the edges; it makes him appear mischievous and shifty. He looks sort of clownish with these two combinations but it sort of compliments his upbeat personality, which I can see quite clearly in his big goofy smile. Those two are wearing matching black robes and have all the ninja fluttering around them. The ninja fluttering around them look more cautious then they should be considering they are here to negotiate peace.

The third child ambles wearily behind, out of all of them, he is the most interesting to me. He is clearly the youngest, I can tell he is the five year old that everyone was talking about; he is the one who is my age. The clothes he is wearing aren't black robes but a short tanned robe cut short to mimic a shirt, the collar is tall and hides part of his chin. His black trousers disappear into the gray bindings that are wrapped around his calves, his black sandals poking out of the layered fabric. Those thin, pale arms of his are clutching a big teddy bear close to his body like a last hold of security. That would have been understandable; he was in a new place, it's reasonable to be scared. Yet-on his small back is a giant gourd, tied to him with a thin piece of white cloth. What could he possibly be carting around in that massive container? I lingered on it for a few more seconds then moved my eyes to his face.

His pastel face is round and framed by a head full of spiky auburn hair that glistens in the sun like red fire. He seems to have no eyebrows, yet to me that only heightens his adorably innocent features. There are black jagged rings around his big pointed eyes, which are the most beautiful shade of turquoise and mint green. They shine in the light but they seem sad and pained. That look in his eyes…they remind me of mine.

"That's Gaara!" Someone whispers in a hushed voice.

"I heard he torments the Hidden Sand Village everyday!" Another mutters.

"He's a monster like Hebi." The thirds word cut me deep. A monster like Hebi? No, that can't be right. That little boy, that scared little child, can not be a threat to anyone. They are calling this defenseless boy a monster!

"You're the monsters!" I bellow in the direction of the voices. "What gives you people the right to say such things? You're all monsters." Everyone cowers at my voice and I notice how everything has gone quiet. Even the sound of footsteps coming from the pathway. Turning my head back I notice that the Sand Siblings have stopped walking completely. Each one has turned to look at me directly. Each with a different expression on their face. The oldest is giving me a disgusted glower, the platter finally matches the rotten egg that's being served on it. The second is simply put in a state of sad resentment, I can see that sorrow in him but he hates with the same equal weight. The third-Gaara is in astonishment. He doesn't quite know how to process what he just heard. Though when he does, I am met with the same shock. A smile brightens up his whole face and he directs it straight at me. Leaving me stunned in awe about how perfect he looks with it. I have no other words and no other thoughts but my first reaction is to smile back.

* * *

I remember-I remember…Gaara…

**To the Readers:**

**As stated in the chapter before, this story was taken down for revision. Before, I had waited until I had 8 chapters before posting which cause numerous errors in the plot line. The character seemed unruly and the facts behind her personal life were mixed up. So I am resubmitting the story because even though there were problems I thought it was a pretty air solid story line. Please be patient with me as I continue in this process, if I miss anything in the revision I ask that you comment about it in the reviews and everything will go smoothly. Thank you so much! Your reviews and views mean a lot to me :)**

**I'll post as soon as possible **

**Shiori Mio **

_Also, if i am taking a while to post the newest chapter of **The Sand Filled with Tears** and you are anxious to read somthing new: Check out my new story!_

**_A Mind Unbound_**_ By Jesses Dark Heart: A Gaara/OC Not So Fairy Tale FanFiction_


	3. Chapter 3: Forgiven and Forgotten

Chapter 3:

Forgiven and Forgotten

"I know you're there. Come out." My heart stops and I almost lose balance on the tree branch. His voice has changed so much since the last time I saw him. It's become more soothing, like a sleek sigh of a voice. I feel like an idiot. My knees can barely hold me up anymore and I can feel myself starting to slip. Quickly I sit down and grab the trunk of the tree, clutching onto it like my life was at stake, I try and hide my face in the bark but it's no good I know he's still there. Out of sight out of mind seems not to work so well in this situation. Why is my heart beating so fast? Why does my middle finger tip burn so much? I haven't seen him in five years. Those three times he had visited the Hidden Cloud Village are gone now. All in the past, yet I can feel the sting of happiness in my eyes. The last time he visited everything was wrong. Everything had changed, it seems that he has reverted back to himself and I can tell all by the peaceful sound in his voice.

"Don't turn around, don't look for me. This is all I need. All I need. I don't want anything more. Please leave before I get too attached. Please…" The words are so low I know only the ants on the tree bark can actually hear them, yet it is still only a whisper to their ears. It hurts, that pain in my heart is getting worse and worse. Why is he just standing there? Why won't he leave?

_That's the boy isn't it? The boy who you always toss and turn about during the night._ I cringe at the sound of Chi's voice, mistakenly letting out a whimper. Gaara's head slowly turns towards me and I close my eyes tightly, "No don't let me see your face. I don't want to see your eyes." I whisper again. The last time I saw his eyes…they were so cold. They were like ice that was sprouting into tainted glass deep within his soul. I don't want to see that again-if I do, I'd lose all hope. I just want to pretend he's become that young little Gaara who only knew how to smile.

'Let me pretend. Please let me pretend.'

"Why are you're eyes closed like that?" That voice is too close for comfort, and I nearly leap out of my skin in distress. My eyes snap open, to find him upside down, his feet planted to the thick branch above the one I'm sitting on. His face is so close to mine, I can feel it scorching my very flesh. 'No! Look away! Don't look at his eyes!' As if my body has engrossed itself into the situation without my permission at all, my arms unlock from the trunk and jam my palms to my eyes. This causes my body to slide right off my branch and plummet to the earth. As I fall I don't break the position I fell in once. I was fully prepared to break a bone, or maybe it's because I hadn't processed that I had fell at all. Who knows? I just wanted keep pretending.

"You're not making this easy." Removing my fists from my eyes I look around and realized the sand under me. I guess that he softened the impact so I wouldn't have to deal with a broken arm later. Gaara…saved me? But…if he saved me then… Without another thought I swing my head in the direction of the voice. There he stands, taller then he ever has. He hasn't changed much from the last time I saw him, but these past five years have been good for him. I can see it; it says it all in his eyes.

His face has chiseled out a little; his nose has become a little straighter, his jaw a little stronger. I can see the calm in his eyes. They aren't narrowed in fury anymore, they are completely at peace. He isn't the eleven year old Gaara I have worried about for five years. Still he isn't the five year old or eight year old Gaara who smiled whenever I called his name. I can tell that he hasn't smiled like he used to in a long time, but he stopped hating everyone for a long time too. I feel as if I'm going to cry, that familiar lump in my throat is starting to get bigger and bigger.

"Gaara…" I smile at him sadly. He doesn't know how long I've waited; how much I've longed.

"You know who I am?" He questions. I swallow my words when he says that, know him?

"You mean you don't remember me?" There is a long drawn out silence. I remember these, he used to stop talking completely when he didn't know exactly how to answer or respond. That means…he doesn't remember. How can he not remember?

Breathing in I get up and approach him steadily, "Gaara you have to remember me. It's me, Kana. You have to remember that." I take one step too close and Gaara suddenly tenses, it's only a slight movement but the twitch in his finger is all too blunt to me. I stop right where I am; I suddenly realize that I didn't even take time to notice he is in his fighting stance, his arms crossed over his chest. The feel of my eyes widening is all too horrific, he isn't eleven year old Gaara. He became more mature; he forgot me and is now considering me an enemy. The worst part is that he doesn't have that look of madness in his eyes. This tells me that to him this is only the logical response in a situation like this. I am an enemy right now, that's it.

_I guess you weren't as important to him as he is to you. _Chi's voice pricks my insides all over. That laugh of hers makes me sick. How could he have forgotten me? We were friends.

"G-Gaara, please tell me this is some sort of rotten joke! Say you're only pretending!" I break my composure and take quick strides over to him, closing the distance way too quickly for his tastes. He lets out the sand from the gourd and it circles his feet ready to defend him if the need is to occur, this only falters me briefly. We are face to face again, but this time under my demand.

Holding up the palm of my right hand to him I sob, "Don't you remember this scar, Gaara? You made it eight years ago! You told me that it'd all be ok as long as I carried part of your love on me always!" The heart scar seems to shake him a bit, his eyes widen and he backs away. "You need to remember me Gaara! Please I beg of you!"

Please remember…

* * *

It's normal outside, the air isn't too hot or too cold but the clouds are no where to be seen either. It is unnaturally drab outside, the people are no where to be seen so the stillness is almost like a disease. Vaguely I wonder what could possible be keeping the people inside today? Even when its snow flurries there are children and adults hopping around in the mounds without regret in doing so. I am the only one who seems to be enjoying the mild weather. I know I shouldn't be wondering about such things. Even when they are all outside I am never invited to join in whatever they are doing, but I like to watch at least. Then I can pretend that I am. Or I can at least learn how to do it.

Sighing I continue to pick flowers, red spider lilies are everywhere right now. I don't dare touch one though, if I pick one then there will be one less to admire. I hear the stories about how the are supposedly the flowers that bloom in hell, yet that never changed the beauty of their blooms. I want to be like a red spider lily. Mocked and feared, but still beautiful and budding tall. Scanning the rest of the field I notice one last white flower and pluck it from its roots. 'These will make a beautiful bouquet in grandmamma's house.' Smiling I add the white flower to the collection and dash back to the village as fast as my little legs can carry me.

When I make it there, the streets are completely deserted. If I didn't know better I would have thought this place was a ghost town. Slowly I make my way down the roads, I can hear people inside their houses so I know that no one abandoned the village but what could possibly be keeping them all inside? Two more house to pass until I make it to gandmamma's house. Though the empty feeling is almost intoxicating, I nearly want to run all the way back to the field and stay there until tomorrow. With one last house to pass I approach unwavering until I see four shadows drawing near from the road to the left of me. I stare bluntly, I can't help it. Because the first person I see is the boy with auburn hair like fire. The others are the rest of the Sand Siblings and Kazekage-sama. The meant little to nothing to me but that boy…Gaara. He was the first to ever smile at me, for that he intrigued ever fiber of my being.

His eyes meet mine and I am startled for a few moments to see that a part of him has changed. On his forehead lies the mark of love, but something's wrong with it. It doesn't look like it was added him with a little ink. It's almost as if…it is imbedded into his flesh. Gaara-a demon loving only himself…is this the mark of a devil? No…I don't want to become like one of those villagers who keep their ear to the ground, not even sparing a glance for the source. It's not like I'm in the position to be one anyway. Without thinking I lift up my free hand and wave to the bubbly and bright, 'None the less, I want to see his smile again. Even if it is an evil omen on his forehead.' The Kazekage and his three children stop abruptly, even though they are at least six feet away from me I still notice the astonish written across their faces. I guess no one really interacts with them as freely as I have.

"Who is that?" The Kazekage demands of the first two siblings, Gaara is completely excluded from his father's question, as if he couldn't possibly be associated with me. I'm not sure if that means he thinks very highly of Gaara, or very lowly of him. The girl answers first, the look of pure antipathy lucid on her pretty face.

"That's the girl who defended Gaara the last time we came here." The boy nods his head in confirmation; those black eyes of his are shaded with frustration. Silently I wonder what I possibly did. Is it wrong to wish that his smile would never go away? The Kazekage turns his head back towards me, utter bewilderment distorting his handsome face.

"Defended Gaara?" Gaara's father, how can you be so surprised? Is it really that uncommon that someone would make a move to defend this helpless boy? In that moment-I make a decision that I don't even take time to consider; I'll protect this boy from the people who are so very cold. I'll be the shield for him that I never ever had.

"Hey Gaara-kun!" I bellow in my little voice. Gaara face suddenly lights up the dark roads with that beautifully bright smile. He flings his little hand in the air and waves frantically then decides that is simply not good enough and rushes towards me with childish excitement unmatchable to any other, well in my personal opinion anyway. Kazekage-sama and his other two children are left in Gaara's dust with gaping mouths nearly touching the roads surface.

Gaara nearly trips as he runs to me, that big gourd of his bouncing rather comically on his small thin shoulders. When he reaches me his breath is ragged, but something tells me that it's not because of him sprinting so fast. This boy, that smile…greeting him with a grin I carefully pluck a red flower from my bouquet and hold it out to him. He doesn't accept it all at once, he hesitates, as if he expecting me to bite his hand off if he even dares to touch it. I frown at this. I wonder, how many times have you been deceived? How many times have people pulled such awful pranks on you? Slowly and cautiously he extends his fingers and wraps them around the stem then gives me a look that can only be described as questioning but all I do is smile back. Pulling back he clutches the little flower in his hand and holds it close to his heart, that tiny fist of his clasping it as if it was his last lining of hope.

"How long have you been alone, Gaara-kun?" I inquire slowly, loud enough for only his ears to hear. The only response is a painfully sorrowful smile, I decide that it means 'a very long time'. "My name is Wakana, but you can call me Kana, Gaara."

* * *

_The first time you ever talked, how sweet. To remember something so trivial from such a young age. _Chi's voice whispers in my ears but it burns worse then fire ablaze on my flesh. I fall to my knees clutching my skull, its feels like dozens of little insects trying to fight their way out of my skin. Cries of sorrow and agony fight from my throat all at one, I feel the hot tears spill from my eyes. Why doesn't he remember? How could he have forgotten? The first time he smiled at me. The first time we talked. The first time he said he loved me. The last time we ever saw each other.

"How could all those memories fade from you? You said if I kept this scar, your love would always be with me! How could that all disappear? We were friends!" Suddenly my heart bursts into pieces, as if it has exploded behind my rib cage and is bleeding acid all over my organs. It hurts. It hurts so much. Gaara…why can't you remember? Gaara's face is in complete distress, he doesn't know what to make of me and my story. The look in his eyes tells me that he doesn't have any words to reassure me or deny me, he is utterly confused and tormented by my presence.

"I'm—sorry…" Is that all I can think to say? "I am sorry I have interfered with your life." The horse sound of my voice is nearly stolen away by the winds harsh screaming. The moments barely pass when my ears are met with a disturbing sound, more footsteps and rustling from the brush Gaara had appeared from. Two individual footsteps to be correct, that means… Oh no.

"Hey Gaara, did you really have to take off ahead of us?" Kankuro calls out as Temari and he fight their way out of the brush. "I mean I get you don't need any help but you could at least wait for us—jeez Gaara, you could have gone a little easier on her. I mean she is just a girl! Look she's even crying!" I feel the fright wash over me as he walks forward to get a look at my face. With Gaara on the defense and these two here, there is no way to tell what will happen next.

"Gaara? Whats wrong?" Temari asks, genuine concern in her voice. Has she grown a heart from the last time I saw her? Or has the rotten egg sprouted a sparkling outer shell?

"T-Temari!" Kankuro stutters to get out, he saw my face. I know he knows who I am. This is going to get bad really quickly. Temari approaches steadily, obviously not concerned with the alarm in Kankuro's voice.

"What is it Kankuro? I swear you both are acting like complete-" I hear a gasp from her and I lift my head to look in her eyes. Her lips part and she whispers low but audible, her eyes wide with anxiety, "You"

* * *

**To the Readers:**

**Thank you so much for reading! I really hope you enjoyed this chapter, and if not, tell me why! Readers are always welcomed to share their honest opinions, no matter if it is to suggest ways to better the story or simply to say 'good job'! Again thank you very much for reading, I promise to update as soon as possible! **

**Shiori Mio **

**Questions asked:**

**Q. Is Kana a demon holder or a demon herself?** Asked By: Guest

**A. I don't really want to give it away but I do promise you that her specific type of bread will be revealed in a later chapter. I believe that it is Chapter 6. I know that it sounds like it's a far away chapter but I swear that I'll get it up for you as soon as I'm done with all the revisions! **

**Thank you so much for the questions! If there is anymore confusion, feel free to ask! **

_Also, if I am taking a while to post the newest chapter of **The Sand Filled with Tears** and you are anxious to read something new: Check out my new story!_

_**A Mind Unbound **By Jesses Dark Heart: A Gaara/OC Not So Fairy Tale FanFiction_


	4. Chapter 4: The girl visible only in Red

**Chapter 4:**

**The girl visible only in the shade red**

"Its YOU!" Temari shrieks, the anger seeping out of her like boiling water left on the stove for far too long. Maybe it was just the way her eyes looked then, or the way the world just came down on my two seconds ago, I'm not sure but the second the gaze of pure disgust crossed her face. I lost it. The next thing I know another blast of pain rattles my brain, Chi's laughter bubbling through the chaos. _Do I get to play yet young Hebi? Let me tear her to shreds. Hell I'll even rip the face off that boy so you can keep it for yourself. _My eyes widen, what am I even thinking? I can't let Chi out! She'll slaughter everyone. If I let her out…I'll lose control again. She'll hurt Gaara.

"NO! STOP TALKING!" Temari, Kankuro and Gaara all jump at the command. It is Temari who seems to understand that it isn't her I'm talking to. Quickly she takes old of her fan and opens it to the third moon. I know what she plans to do…with me cowering on the ground, trying my best to keep Chi at bay, it's her perfect chance. The absolute perfect chance to chop off my head and finally be able to let go of the loathing she has harbored for me all these years. Smirking under the mask of the shadows I extend my head out, giving her the chance to take a swift clean cut. I understand. I'd take the same move too, I'd slice her face off her shoulders and finally have one less thing to carry in my memories. One less thing to regret not doing, yet this death is meant for her. If I am not put out of my misery, Chi will undoubtedly get out. She'd wreak havoc and wouldn't stop until her blood lust was satisfied.

"Do it." I whisper. Temari hesitates at my words, they've confused her. They've made her question why I am so willing for death. "DO IT! NOW!" I holler at her. Fear takes her body and leads her through the movements, lifting up her giant fan and raising it high, letting the wind take it as it drops down. Down. Down.

"TEMARI STOP!" We both falter at Gaara's voice. It is confused and frustrated, it always is when things don't go exactly his way. It makes me smile behind the curtain of my sleek hair.

"G-Gaara…I was only trying to-" He glares at her, the coldness so real. It reminds me of five years ago, I almost shiver just observing it. Taking two steps forward he crouches down, a knee in the ground and one in the air. Immediately I react to this, sitting up straight I place my hand on his knee without even thinking about it. It makes everyone gasp, even I do inside.

"Get your knee off the ground or your pants will get dirty." There is a moment of silence at my awkward display. Then I notice the twitch on Gaara's lips, he is trying his absolute hardest not to smile. Though the beam in his eyes are there, it is obvious he is still oblivious. That is okay though, all I want is to see him smile again. Even if it means he'll never even once remember my face. He stands up and offers me his hand, I accept it without a moments thought. I seem to be developing a habit of that quite quickly. The hand I hold, it is bigger then I remember. Its rough from battle, but it is warm and almost as cautious as I had memorized. Suddenly I realize that Chi's voice has stopped and the pain has eased. I feel better, just because he touched my hand.

"There was a girl," Gaara mumbles under his breath, "a long time ago she used to smile whenever I was around, but I can't..." My heart flutters, anticipation seems to be nothing but a completely lethal drug for me. I remember when he used to hang off my every word, like I was the only on in the world, to him I probably was. Yet now, in this brief moment between time and space, it's completely reversed-I only want his voice and that's all I've ever wanted for five long years. "I can only remember her laughter, but when I try to dig in deeper everything fogs over. I'm not even sure if it is real." Temari glowers, her face clouding over with distaste. I can tell that she doesn't like that Gaara can recall even that much. He turns towards her and continues, that voice unwavering and smooth even though it is coaxed with frustration and confusion, "Yet somehow Temari knows you well enough to despise you with all her being. That in itself helps your case immensely."

"Gaara, y-you mistaken! Of course I don't know this murderer! She is just the criminal we came to execute remember? She is dangerous." Temari is fluster, her words have been sucked dry and her hope for convincing Gaara is very low. She should have taken my life when she had the chance. I smile soundly inside, that rotten egg still has a lot to learn.

Gaara only glares with pure rage apparent in the light of his eyes, his motionless silence stilling the world and beckoning the laws of motion to ease into a complete stop. Kankuro takes a few steps forward from the background and motions for Gaara to calm down. I stand steadily and watch this scene, I've never quite seen them interact so familiar before. Before, when we were still children, they kept the farthest distance possible from Gaara, their disgust very real. Then when we reached the age eleven they were glued to him twenty four seven, it was not out of affection they did this though, but more so out of fear. They need to monitor him or he would fall from their vision and slaughter whoever passed his judgment. This time they act, the closet to siblings I have ever witnessed from them. It is almost like the world has toppled over on its side, things certainly have changed…

"Gaara, we're your family. Who are you going to trust?" A flicker of anger blacks out my soul, what a dirty trick, Kankuro. I was family to Gaara before both of them could even withstand his gaze. My pride seems to be chocking me but I keep quiet, if I said anything it wouldn't help me much.

"I see it…in her eyes. She is not an enemy." So he learned how to see, did he? I guess that time together wasn't a pure waste of his time.

The stones under my bare feet are smooth and sleek, polished to perfection by the rivers rapid currents. The water comforts my feet and cools down the burning cuts that will soon become scars. This is my sanctuary. This open fielded that is shielded from the naked eye by thick woods and strangling vines. Flowers grow carelessly here, an off sided babbling brook snores noisily near overgrown boulders and pond agley. Sometimes I camp out here when I can not stand the beatings grandmamma gives me. No one knows where it is so it is easy to keep it a secret. Cocking my head slightly I notice Gaara standing a foot behind me, his uncertainty almost like a book to me. This makes me smile. I showed this place to Gaara and he was really happy that I did, I know he knew the truth behind it. Every shard of grass whispering on the marshy ground, every aging petal on every tall flower-every slick stone caressed by each sloshing dance of water was a piece of me. I had let him into my world; I had let him see a part of me not even the birds I sang with knew. We were, almost in every sense, one being in my eyes. This meant the breath in my body to me; I know that it also meant his too.

"Gaara-kun, why do you hold back from the water? It won't bite I promise." I beam at him, holding out my hand with the most ease I've ever dare felt. There is a glimmer in his eyes and I know he trusts me with his life. Gently I take his hand and gingerly guide him to the water. He only manages at this pace until we reach the edge, then he stops abruptly, the grip on my hand tightening. Giving him a squeeze back I tug him a few inches more then lightly release my grip on him. Gaara tries to take hold of me again, those tiny fingers desperate; flinging himself forward he manages to catch my forearm without touching the water. Smiling at him, I bend down and stick my free hand into the water and pull out a smoothed down stone. I readjust myself and twist the round stone around in my hand to remove the pond scum, and then I offer it to Gaara. With his mouth slightly agape he contemplates my gift then takes grasp of it, his eyes admiring it like a precious gleaming emerald. That look of awe sends a spark of enjoyment into my heart.

As the stone steals away his attention I lead him two more steady steps forwards, he allows me to lead him-until his toes touch the rapids. A struggled gasp escapes his throat as he falls away from the stream, yanking me with him. We fall to the earth together and with little to no spacing he wraps his arms around my waist and burrows his head into my side. This takes me by surprise, I've never once seen someone so afraid of water, I didn't understand at all then. Then I looked down at his toes. The flesh that the water had licked him turned his toes a deeper shaded color, slowly the wet are begins to flake off and show the pale skin of Gaaras real toes underneath. The discarded skin covers the ground and I lean forward to study it, it doesn't look like skin though, it more resembles…sand. Glancing back at his toes, I notice how the sand starts to repack itself onto Gaara's exposed flesh. I understand now…it's like a fully body mask made of Gaara's sand. I hear the sobbing, and feel the wetness soaking through my shirt, I know this type of tears well, and they are very bitter and filled with sorrow-he thinks he is a freak. Suddenly a thought hits me.

"Gaara-kun, tell me-do you know how to see?" I inquire quietly.

"What do you mean?" He whispers through his chocked up tears and my now wet shirt.

"Well from a very young age I have been able to see. For example-I see you, but it's less of seeing you as a person and more as a soul." I explain thoughtfully-Gaara lifts his head from my side and gives me an uncertain expression.

"A soul?" Curiosity heightens his voice a few notches and I smile at him, it's a motherly smile, and I know he feels the warmth behind it.

"Yes, you see since I was a young child I have been able to look into a persons eyes and read them like pop out books. I didn't understand why I could do this but I figured it was just because I was different. I must be a freak, no one else could do this as well and as accurately as I and this made me sad. I didn't quite understand. Then at the age of four I met my father and my nii-san, the second I looked into my fathers eyes I realized that I did Not like him. There was a feeling of coldness in his soul that I could simply not get past, but when I looked at my nii-san I knew instantly that he was a good person, I knew I would love him forever. The very next day I had found out that my father had gone to my mother's house during the night and slit her throat in her sleep then burned down the house she was staying in. After that he went to attack me but my nii-san wouldn't allow this and ended my father's life, but he had taken a fatal wound and ended dying that same night." I know my eyes are clouded over by shadows because indeed that this was still a very tender subject to me but I managed to cast a happy beam at Gaara and continue on, "I saw the soul of evil in my father before anyone with just a simple glance, and saw the heroic nature of my nii-san in a short passing. Do you want to know what I see when I look at you?" He nods his head wearily, a fear to hear the answer. I lean in as if I am about to tell him the secret of the world and whisper, "The purest, most precious soul I ever did see."

Gaara smiles a big toothy grin and then asked slightly embarrassed, "Kana, will you teach my how to see?"

He must have mastered it while we were apart. At this, my heart fills with pride, I'm glad-if he learned to see he probably avoided most of the unwarranted difficulties in life with ease. Gaara, you don't even need me anymore do you?

"Gaara, don't be ridicules! We can't bring her back to Suna! For gods sake she slaughtered fifteen ninja from her own village and injured hundreds more! She is merciless, who knows the danger she would pose to your people!" Kankuro squeaks and I feel my face go blank with wide eyes, 'Gaara's people?'

"I am Kazekage and I know she isn't a threat. Besides, I've done far worse damage then that in a single week." There is a deafening silence, its like water drowning out my breathing. Gaara? You're Kazekage? Has life really exceeded so much? With that the red shade that kept me visible all these years evaporated before my very eyes and the world that I was lost in kept spinning without the thing that kept my drive for so long.

**To the Readers:**

**Thank you so much for reading! I really hope you enjoyed this chapter, and if not, tell me why! Readers are always welcomed to share their honest opinions, no matter if it is to suggest ways to better the story or simply to say 'good job'! Again thank you very much for reading, I promise to update as soon as possible! **

**Shiori Mio **

_Also, if I am taking a while to post the newest chapter of**The Sand Filled with Tears**** and **you are anxious to read something new: Check out my new story!_

_**A Mind Unbound**By Jesses Dark Heart: A Gaara/OC Not So Fairy Tale FanFiction_


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